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Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "dating up" or "marrying up"^[1]) is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person dating or marrying a spouse of higher mating value than themselves.

The antonym "hypogamy"^[a] refers to the inverse: marrying a person of lower mating value (colloquially "marrying down").

The term hypogyny can also be used to describe the overall practice of women marrying up, since the men would be marrying down.^[2]

Concepts such as hypergamy, hypogamy, and hypergyny could be considered as special cases of mésalliance.^[3]

In the context of evolutionary psychology and digital sociology, hypergamy by physical attractiveness refers to the tendency of individuals to seek partners who are perceived as more physically attractive than themselves. With the advent of big data from online dating platforms, researchers have begun to quantify these patterns, observing distinct disparities in how men and women evaluate and pursue attractiveness.

Quantitative data from various dating platforms suggests a significant skew in how attractiveness is appraised. Data released by OKCupid indicated that while men tended to rate women on a traditional normal distribution (bell curve) of attractiveness, women rated approximately 80% of men as "below average" in physical appeal.^[4]

Research into the intersection of race and physical attractiveness in online dating often highlights the persistence of specific demographic preferences. Studies published in journals such as Psychological Science and various sociological reviews have noted that in Western dating markets, white men often receive a disproportionate amount of interest and higher attractiveness scores compared to other ethnic groups.^[5] Sociologists argue that these preferences are influenced by "sexual racism" or "racialized erotic capital," where Eurocentric beauty standards elevate the perceived desirability of certain groups.^[6] Data-driven analyses suggest that most attractive white men often occupy the "top tier" of the digital dating hierarchy, receiving the highest volume of positive signals from a broad spectrum of female users, which researchers interpret as a convergence of hypergamy and existing social hierarchies.

In a 2016 paper that explored the income difference between couples in 1980 and 2012, researcher Yue Qian noted that the tendency for women to marry men with higher incomes than themselves still persists in the modern era.^[7]

The observed gender cliff in the distribution of women's share to the household income at 50% can be explained by income hypergamy preferences by both men and women, together with gender pay gap.^[8]

A study found traditional marriage practices in which men "marry down" and women "marry up" in education do not persist in countries where women have higher educational attainment.^[9]

Studies of mate selection in dozens of countries around the world have found men and women report prioritizing different traits when it comes to choosing a mate, with both groups favoring attractive partners in general, but men tending to prefer women who are young while women tend to prefer men who are rich, well educated, and ambitious.^[10] They argue that as societies shift towards becoming more gender-equal, women's mate selection preferences shift as well. Some research provides limited support for that theory,^[11] while other research strongly contradicts it.^[12]

One study found that women are more selective in their choice of marriage partners than are men.^[13][14]

A study done by the University of Minnesota in 2017 found that females generally prefer dominant males as mates.^[15] Research conducted throughout the world strongly supports the position that women prefer marriage with partners who are culturally successful or have high potential to become culturally successful. The most extensive of these studies included 10,000 people in 37 cultures across six continents and five islands. Women rated "good financial prospect" higher than men did in all cultures. In 29 samples, the "ambition and industriousness" of a prospective mate were more important for women than for men. Meta-analysis of research published from 1965 to 1986 revealed the same sex difference (Feingold, 1992).

In Britain, marrying up has decreased significantly since the 1950s.^[16] It is becoming less common for women to marry older men, because current socioeconomic dynamics allow women more autonomy. Hypergamy does not necessitate the man being older; rather, it requires him to have higher status. The term 'social equals' typically pertains to shared social circles rather than economic equality.^[17][18][16]

A 2012 analysis of a survey of 8,953 people in 37 countries, which found that the more gender-equal a country, the likelier male and female respondents were to report seeking the same qualities in each other rather than different ones.^[19]

An empirical study examined the mate preferences of subscribers to an online dating service in Israel that had a highly skewed sex ratio (646 men for 1,000 women). Despite this skewed sex ratio, they found that "On education and socioeconomic status, women on average express greater hypergamic selectivity; they prefer mates who are superior to them in these traits... while men express a desire for an analogue of hypergamy based on physical attractiveness; they desire a mate who ranks higher on the physical attractiveness scale than they themselves do."^[20]: 51

One study did not find a statistical difference in the number of women or men "marrying-up" in a sample of 1,109 first-time married couples in the United States.^[21]

Gilles Saint-Paul (2008) proposes a mathematical model that purports to demonstrate that human female hypergamy occurs because women have greater lost mating opportunity costs from monogamous mating (given their slower reproductive rate and limited window of fertility compared to men), and thus must be compensated for this cost of marriage. At the end of his introduction, Saint-Paul states his model is consistent with statistics published by Bertrand et al (2013) but also notes that in US Bureau of Labor and Statistics (BLS) data gathered the same year "aggregate evidence is not so clear-cut."^[22]

References to Hindu law books from the Indian subcontinent in the 19th century include the Sanskrit terms anuloma and pratiloma, respectively, for the concepts of hypergamy and hypogamy.^[23]

The early Christian Church, through voices such as St. Basil the Great, sought to limit the effects of hypergamous customs, notably the large age gap that may have resulted from hypergamous mate selection. This guideline was not a part of church canon but some orthodox or Coptic churches recommend respective gaps of around 4-8 years or 1-15 years, with narrower age gaps recommended for younger couples.^[24]

• Eckland, Bruce K. (1971). "Theories of Mate Selection". In Adams, Bert N.; Weirath, Thomas (eds.). Readings on the Sociology of the Family. Chicago: Markham. ISBN 0-8410-4025-7.

• The dictionary definition of hypergamy at Wiktionary