Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Unblock Emails

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Wikipedia:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Unblock Emails - Wikipedia

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous.
Such material is not meant to be taken seriously.

This page is currently inactive and is retained for historical reference.
Either the page is no longer relevant or consensus on its purpose has become unclear. To revive discussion, seek broader input via a forum such as the village pump.

The Wikipedia unblock request list gets a lot of e-mails. Sometimes, they're legit requests for people whose school/workplace/military base has been blocked, and they'd like an account to edit with. Other times, they just don't get why they've been blocked. And then, there are the ones that make people scratch their heads in puzzlement. These are those e-mails. All names have been changed, but the rest is unaltered (except for sigs and the like).

"RTFM"

Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2007 19:47:25 -0500 (EST)
Subject: [Unblock-en-l] I've been unfairly blocked
Your Wikipedia account name (if you have one): I don't have one
Who you were blocked by: Netsnipe
The exact reason given above for your block:
If you wish to edit, please disable Google Web Accelerator for this 
website.
You yourself are not personally blocked. However, in order to prevent 
abuse by vandals and other banned users, editing Wikipedia using this 
accelerator is currently disallowed. For instructions on how to disable 
it, please see here.
Your IP address (as provided by this page): 64.233.173.85
An explanation as to why you believe your block is unfair: I have
never had a wikipedia account before

ED: Unfortunately we regularly have people ignoring the solution to their problem which is right in front of their eyes and emailing it back to us.

"Cash for Unblock Scandal?"

date		Apr 10, 2007 2:08 PM	 
subject		[Unblock-en-l] Please unblock my account, I must get out soon!	 
Dear sirs,
I am a deposed prince from the West African nation of Niger. I use my wikipedia account to help me 
find foreigners who may help me get my numerous and millions of funds out of country before the 
government controlled mob in my country can get me. My wikipedia account was unblocked as spamful. If 
any of you may unblock and help me, I will transfer 200 thousand of american dollars to your bank
account, after the completion of a small, 200 dollar account transfer from you to me to prove the
account exists. I thank you rapidly for your attention in this manner, Mr. Wikipedia.
-Mgumbe

ED: It was later revealed that this was somebody checking to see whether unblock-en has a spam filter.

"School of hard knocks"

Date: Fri, 4 May 2007 10:09:39 -0400
Subject: [Unblock-en-l] educational purposes!
I am trying to teach my students that Wikipedia, while good for some purposes,
isn’t a primary resource due to the “anyone can edit” feature of your site. 
My school IP address is therefore blocked. 
Please assist me in my endeavors. 
<name withheld>
Ninth Grade English 

ED: Looks like the lesson has been taught!

Wikipedia doesn't need shipping

Date: Thu, 17 May 2007 16:32:34 +0300
Subject: [Unblock-en-l] (no subject)
KIRGHISTAN – KAZAKHSTAN – UZBEKISTAN – TAJAKISTAN –IRAN – IRAQ – SYRIA  RAILWAY TRANSPORTATION SER 
Dear Sirs, 
We as the <company name removed> have been providing international forwarding , customs clearance and storage services to import and export companies since 1986. Our company  was located  in Turkey. 
Our company offers continuous transport services by road , rail and sea , as well as project forwarding, container  shipping services and transhipments via IRAN , especially to Turkish Republics,Iraq,Middle East.  Russia, Europe and, the Far East,  America and the rest of the World. 
Our primary goal is comprised of complete forwarding services free from delays and   damages. In order to pursue our aims, we have established a liaison office in  Asgabat/Turkmenistan in 1992. 
Similarly , our agencies in Iraq,Iran and Ukraine assist us in the follow up and completion of all forwarding and shipping procedures in order to eliminate any possible delays.
We are capable of fulfilling all services of importing and would like to offer forwarding , customs clearance and storage services to import and export companies.
Please find below all of our references for our above activities.
REFERENCES
<various companies and countries withheld>
We would like to have mutual beneficial  business opportunity  with your respectful company. So, we propose you to take place in your transportation with our quality service and competitive prices if you  need transportation on the following  routes.
The details of routes: Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Armenia, Georgia, Russia, Jordan, Lebanon, Iran, Iraq, Afganisthan. Furthermore, we are able to provide transportation service to the European Countries and Balcan Countries.
Please take into consideration that our mission is to provide our customer first class service with competitive prices and prompt delivery. 
We are looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Best Regards ,
<name redacted>

"Greatest vandal ever"

Subject: [Unblock-en-l] bla bla bla
Date: May 20, 2007 10:28:28 AM PDT
Why did you block me!! The greatest vandal ever to strike Wikipedia has never gotten blocked!!!! I swear to you by the name of Zeus that once the block is lifted I will screw up as many articles as is humanly possible!! Long live credible encyclopedias!! Death to Wikipedia!!

ED: Erm...

"Pwetty please"

Subject: [Unblock-en-l] (no subject)
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007 13:11:10 +0100
Please unblock us?
Pwetty please
SEOKHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (pronounced in a high nasal tone)

"Who you gonna call? Wikipedia!"

Date: Sun, 27 May 2007 10:59:20 +0200
Subject: Re: [Unblock-en-l] Succubus & Incubus
Hi
I would like to know more about these demons. And how can one get rid of them? Please can you help me as I am desperate.
<name withheld>

Bigger than...

Date: 9 June 2007
Blocking admin: TexasAndroid
Block reason: Vandalism-only account
An explanation of why your block is unfair: its not my fault your from texas

Wikipedia essays (?)

Essays on building, editing, and deleting content

Philosophy	Article content Articles must be written All Five Pillars are equally important Avoid vague introductions Be a reliable source Civil POV pushing Cohesion Competence is required Concede lost arguments Dissent is not disloyalty Don't lie Don't search for objections Editing Wikipedia is like visiting a foreign country Editors will sometimes be wrong Eight simple rules for editing our encyclopedia Explanationism External criticism of Wikipedia Here to build an encyclopedia Leave it to the experienced Levels of competence Levels of consensus Most ideas are bad Need Neutrality of sources Not broken is ugly Not editing because of Wikipedia restriction The one question Oversimplification Paradoxes Paraphrasing POV and OR from editors, sources, and fields Process is important Product, process, policy Purpose Reasonability rule Systemic bias There is no seniority Ten Simple Rules for Editing Wikipedia Tendentious editing The role of policies in collaborative anarchy The rules are principles Trifecta We are absolutely here to right great wrongs Wikipedia in brief Wikipedia is an encyclopedia Wikipedia is a community Wikipedia is not RationalWiki
Article construction	100K featured articles Abandoned stubs Acronym overkill Adding images improves the encyclopedia Advanced article editing Advanced text formatting Akin's Laws of Article Writing Alternatives to the "Expand" template Amnesia test A navbox on every page An unfinished house is a real problem Articles have a half-life Autosizing images Avoid mission statements Be neutral in form Beef up that first revision Blind men and an elephant BOLD, revert, discuss cycle Build content to endure Cherrypicking Chesterton's fence Children's lit, adult new readers, & large-print books Citation overkill Citation underkill Common-style fallacy Concept cloud Creating controversial content Criticisms of society may be consistent with NPOV and reliability Deprecated sources Dictionaries as sources Don't demolish the house while it's still being built Don't get hung up on minor details Don't hope the house will build itself Don't panic Don't "teach the controversy" Editing on mobile devices Editors are not mindreaders Encourage the newcomers Endorsements (commercial) Featured articles may have problems Formatting bilateral relations articles Formatting bilateral relations templates Fruit of the poisonous tree Give an article a chance How to write a featured article Identifying and using independent sources History sources Law sources Primary sources Science sources Style guides Tertiary sources Ignore STRONGNAT for date formats Inaccuracy Introduction to structurism Mine a source Merge Test Minors and persons judged incompetent "Murder of" articles Not every story/event/disaster needs a biography Not everything needs a navbox Not everything needs a template Nothing is in stone Obtain peer review comments Organizing disambiguation pages by subject area Permastub Potential, not just current state Presentism Principle of Some Astonishment The problem with elegant variation Pro and con lists Printability Pruning article revisions Publicists Put a little effort into it Restoring part of a reverted edit Robotic editing Sham consensus Source your plot summaries Specialized-style fallacy Stub Makers Run an edit-a-thon Temporary versions of articles Tertiary-source fallacy There are no shortcuts to neutrality There is no deadline There is a deadline The deadline is now Try not to leave it a stub What is a reliable source Understanding Wikipedia's content standards Walled garden What an article should not include Wikipedia is a work in progress Wikipedia is not a reliable source Wikipedia is not being written in an organized fashion The world will not end tomorrow Write the article first Writing better articles
Writing article content	Avoid thread mode Copyediting reception sections Coup Don't throw more litter onto the pile Gender-neutral language Myth vs fiction Proseline Use our own words We shouldn't be able to figure out your opinions Write the article first Writing about women Writing better articles
Removing or deleting content	Adjectives in your recommendations AfD is not a war zone Arguments to avoid in deletion discussions Arguments to avoid in deletion reviews Arguments to avoid in image deletion discussions Arguments to make in deletion discussions Avoid repeated arguments Before commenting in a deletion discussion But there must be sources! Confusing arguments mean nothing Content removal Counting and sorting are not original research Delete or merge Delete the junk Deletion is not cleanup Does deletion help? Don't attack the nominator Don't confuse stub status with non-notability Don't overuse shortcuts to policy and guidelines to win your argument Emptying categories out of process Follow the leader How the presumption of notability works How to save an article proposed for deletion I just don't like it Identifying blatant advertising Identifying test edits Immunity Keep it concise Liar liar pants on fire Nothing Nothing is clear Overzealous deletion Relisting can be abusive Relist bias The Heymann Standard Unopposed AFD discussion Wikipedia is not Whack-A-Mole Why was the page I created deleted? What to do if your article gets tagged for speedy deletion When in doubt, hide it in the woodwork No Encyclopedic Use

Essays on civility

The basics	Accepting other users Apology Contributing to complicated discussions Divisiveness Don't retaliate Editors' pronouns Edit at your own pace Encouraging the newcomers Enjoy yourself Expect no thanks High-functioning autism and Asperger's editors How to be civil Maintaining a friendly space Negotiation Obsessive–compulsive disorder editors Please say please Relationships with academic editors Thank you Too long; didn't read Truce Unblock perspectives We are all Wikipedians here You have a right to remain silent
Philosophy	A thank you never hurts A weak personal attack is still wrong Advice for hotheads An uncivil environment is a poor environment Be the glue Beware of the tigers! Civility warnings Deletion as revenge Failure Forgive and forget It's not the end of the world Nobody cares Most people who disagree with you on content are not vandals Old-fashioned Wikipedian values Profanity, civility, and discussions Revert notification opt-out Shadowless Fists of Death! Staying cool when the editing gets hot The grey zone The last word There is no Divine Right of Editors Most ideas are bad Nothing is clear Reader The rules of polite discourse There is no common sense Two wrongs don't make a right Wikipedia clichés Wikipedia is not about winning Wikipedia should not be a monopoly Writing for the opponent
Dos	Assume good faith Assume the assumption of good faith Assume no clue Avoid personal remarks Avoid the word "vandal" Be excellent to one another Be pragmatic Beyond civility Call a spade a spade Candor Deny recognition Desist Discussing cruft Drop the stick and back slowly away from the horse carcass Encourage full discussions Get over it How to lose Imagine others complexly Just drop it Keep it concise Keep it down to earth Mind your own business Say "MOBY" Mutual withdrawal Read before commenting Settle the process first
Don'ts	ALPHABETTISPAGHETTI Wikipedia:Because I can Civil POV pushing Cyberbullying Don't accuse someone of a personal attack for accusing of a personal attack Don't be a fanatic Don't be a jerk Don't be an ostrich Don't be ashamed Don't be a WikiBigot Don't be high-maintenance Don't be inconsiderate Don't be obnoxious Don't be prejudiced Don't be rude Don't be the Fun Police Don't bludgeon the process Don't call a spade a spade Don't call people by their real name Don't call the kettle black Don't call things cruft Don't come down like a ton of bricks Don't cry COI Don't demand that editors solve the problems they identify Don't drink the consensus Kool-Aid Don't eat the troll's food Don't fight fire with fire Don't give a fuck Don't help too much Don't ignore community consensus Don't knit beside the guillotine Don't make a smarmy valediction part of your signature Don't remind others of past misdeeds Don't shout Don't spite your face Don't take the bait Don't template the regulars Don't throw your toys out of the pram Do not insult the vandals Griefing Hate is disruptive Nationalist editing No angry mastodons just madmen No Nazis No racists No Confederates No queerphobia No, you can't have a pony Passive aggression POV railroad Superhatting There are no oracles There's no need to guess someone's preferred pronouns You can't squeeze blood from a turnip UPPERCASE
WikiRelations	WikiBullying WikiCrime WikiHarassment WikiHate WikiLawyering WikiLove WikiPeace

Essays on notability

Humorous essays

About essays

About essays	Essay guide Value of essays Difference between policies, guidelines and essays Don't cite essays as if they were policy Avoid writing redundant essays Finding an essay Quote your own essay
Policies and guidelines	About policies and guidelines Policies Guidelines How to contribute to Wikipedia guidance Policy writing is hard

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